Thursday, June 10, 2010

This post is for my sister

Her name is Melissa and she is 4 years younger than me.  I was born on her due date and she was born on mine.  She is my only sister that shares both parents in common with me (no brothers).  We do have other siblings as well though.  I sure do love her.  I don't get to see her as much as I would like.  We are only one state away but it is still a 10 hour-turned-16 hour drive for me with the little ones.  We tried to move back to her state but it didn't pan out and honestly, the longer it takes, the more and more I don't see it happening.  I know that is not what she wants to hear.  It's not what I want to believe but we are becoming accustomed to being here and there are things we love about being here.  I love my sons preschool and the babies music class.  Emily loves her school and her dance class.  Up until just recently though, I was ready to get the heck out of here.  A recent change of hands with my husbands job though has made me really think that we are probably going to be here for a while so I may as well just get used to it.  That thought, all by itself, is really, really, really hard for me.  I will be 39 next month and I have never lived anywhere for more than 4 years IN MY LIFE.  We have been here for nearly 3 and a half years now.  I. am. itching.  So, I think I will just sell my house and move across town.  It should scratch my itch enough to allow another 3 or 4 years to pass.

In the meantime though, I REALLY miss my sister.  I miss you, girl.  I wish we could have lunch together and cookouts...  girls night out and some therapeutic shopping.  I dream about hanging out at your house with your annoying cute little doggy.  Emily begging me to take her to your house and Owen crying when we have to go home.  Disney world and the water park.  I don't have a sister here.  Great, now I need a tissue.  It is really hard to think too much about the reality of this situation.  That is my defense mechanism... I just don't think too much about things that bother me.

So anyhow, I hope you know how much I love you and miss you.  I am really sad that I won't be seeing you this week although I do understand.  Thats all I have.  I wish we lived closer.  I wish my kids were more a part of your life and we had time to spend together.  Maybe one of these days.  Just maybe.